Mindful dating for online daters

Ksenia L.
3 min readAug 31, 2021

Acceptance is a key component of mindfulness, which is paying attention to our thoughts and feelings without criticizing them-for example, without believing that there is a “right” or “wrong” way to think or feel at any given time.

In the context of online dating, mindfulness refers to approaching dating in an aware and proactive manner and entails:

  • having a sense of what you’re seeking as well as a feel of who you are is essential;
  • being able to set boundaries and accept rejection;
  • sending out nice thoughts in the hopes that they may be returned.

Many people date in ways that are the polar opposite of mindful dating. They whine about not being able to meet new people while passing up excellent opportunities to do so. They go through dating on autopilot, never pausing to have a meaningful discussion or listen to someone in order to discover more about them.

So, how can you engage in mindful dating? There are numerous ways that might assist you in becoming more mindful during your online dating experience.

Understand your needs

What do you hope to achieve from your dating experience? You will be more conscious and proactive in your dating life if you are explicit about what you want.

You might not want to utilize some dating sites that cater to more casual users if you’re searching for a long-term relationship. Similarly, if you wish to date casually, going on a date with someone who wants to marry and start a family as soon as possible is not the ideal choice.

Find your dating prospects

Be mindful about finding your dating prospects. Try curating your prospects depending on how well they correspond with the objectives you’ve set.

For example, if you enjoy reading, the library might be a wonderful place to meet someone who shares your interests. A specialty grocery store or a food festival can be an excellent place to meet someone interesting if you enjoy cooking. Men looking for family-oriented ladies can look into international dating sites where they can meet women from Russia and Ukraine.

Say “yes” to technologies

Do not overlook the potential that advanced technologies present for finding the ideal partner. There are various solutions that are expressly designed to help you be more conscious when dating.

Online dating sites will send you your top matches so you don’t have to waste time looking for them. You will have more time to focus on what’s really important instead of scrolling through a site.

Be attentive

When you’re dating online, how frequently do you notice the other person isn’t paying attention to what you’re saying? On dates, try to practice being an active listener. This kind of mindfulness will benefit both you and your date.

Your date will sense that you care and are interested in them. You’ll also get a better idea of if you’re a good match this way. Ask a lot of questions, get clarification when you’re unsure about something and stay focused.

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries for yourself is also a part of mindful dating. You won’t be able to determine whether someone is good for you or not if you don’t have any boundaries.

In the same way, place boundaries for yourself. Don’t get too involved with someone (emotionally or physically) before you’ve gotten to know them well enough to determine if they’re a good match. Online date isn’t a therapy session; instead, tell your date about your hopes, dreams, passions, and future plans instead of telling about your problems.

Stay positive

It may seem simple, but having positive energy is crucial when you’re on a date. It’s easy to fall into negative thinking if you’ve been dating unsuccessfully for a time, which sends a negative message to your date.

Keep an open mind and believe that the person you’re on a date with has the potential to be someone wonderful in your life. Try to identify the positive characteristics of your date and show off your pleasant side.

Do not take rejection personally

Remember that not everyone will be a good match for you and that your date has every right to feel that way about you. While rejection is never pleasant, if you can avoid taking it personally, you can see it as a stepping stone to meeting someone who is a good fit for you.

Originally published at https://www.cuteonly.com.